I'm up to Session 8 of my CBT now. I've learnt some techniques for spotting my own 'errors in thinking' and I am learning techniques which can help me to get off the 'low self-esteem' treadmill.
At the start of each session I complete a couple of forms about how I have been feeling over the last couple of weeks. My counsellor has data from these forms on his computer and can show me a graph of how I am progressing. It's interesting to note that my scores have been falling as the counselling has progressed (this is a good thing), having dropped from high risk to average or slightly below, meaning I theoretically don't require therapy now. I'd disagree, though.
My scores have fallen, but I've been off work for the last three months, so it's natural that my anxiety levels have fallen, since the primary source of my distress has been removed. I am concerned what happens if and when I return to work. That thought in itself causes me anxiety, though I at least know now that what I am doing is 'predicting' and painting the worst-case scenario for myself.
The psychiatrist I saw recently. the doctor from occupational health and my own GP all feel there is a glimmer of hope of me returning to work now, but that it is dependent on my employers making appropriate 'reasonable adjustments'. It's now confirmed that my situation is covered under the Disability Discrimination Act, which means I have a few more rights than otherwise. The phrase 'watch this space' springs to mind.
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Psychiatrist Visit
I am off work with stress and depression presently. My employer recently sent me to see a psychiatrist. Now this sounded really scary when it was proposed, but I want to talk about it here for the benfit of others in simalr positions.
The hospital I went to for the appointment did little to reassure me from the outside, as it looked rather like an early 20th century 'asylum'; though very pretty it's red brick, small windowpanes and endless lawns triggered some anxiety. This was, I believe, a private hospital rather than an NHS one, so it was 'posh'.
Reception sent me to a small waiting room. This room held four chairs and two racks of information leaflets about various mental health issues. It was generally quite pleasant, apart from the windows. Understand me, there were no bars on the window as such, but the design of the windows still gave that feeling, as they were composed of multiple panes of glass, about 4 x 6 inches, mounted in cast iron. I was the only person there, and waited about 15 minuted before the psychiatrist popped her head around the door to invite me to her consulting room.
My session with the psychiatrist was actually quite decent. She was business-like, empathetic, a good listener, no-nonense and forthright. She asked me to explain my personal history first, guiding me through my narrative by asking for further detail where necessary. Having established a context for my present difficulties we then discussed what's happened and happening at work.
I've yet to receive a copy of her report, but I felt supported and comprehended. I also felt would deal with me fairly. In short, I liked her and appreciated her manner.
The hospital I went to for the appointment did little to reassure me from the outside, as it looked rather like an early 20th century 'asylum'; though very pretty it's red brick, small windowpanes and endless lawns triggered some anxiety. This was, I believe, a private hospital rather than an NHS one, so it was 'posh'.
Reception sent me to a small waiting room. This room held four chairs and two racks of information leaflets about various mental health issues. It was generally quite pleasant, apart from the windows. Understand me, there were no bars on the window as such, but the design of the windows still gave that feeling, as they were composed of multiple panes of glass, about 4 x 6 inches, mounted in cast iron. I was the only person there, and waited about 15 minuted before the psychiatrist popped her head around the door to invite me to her consulting room.
My session with the psychiatrist was actually quite decent. She was business-like, empathetic, a good listener, no-nonense and forthright. She asked me to explain my personal history first, guiding me through my narrative by asking for further detail where necessary. Having established a context for my present difficulties we then discussed what's happened and happening at work.
I've yet to receive a copy of her report, but I felt supported and comprehended. I also felt would deal with me fairly. In short, I liked her and appreciated her manner.
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