I'm up to Session 8 of my CBT now. I've learnt some techniques for spotting my own 'errors in thinking' and I am learning techniques which can help me to get off the 'low self-esteem' treadmill.
At the start of each session I complete a couple of forms about how I have been feeling over the last couple of weeks. My counsellor has data from these forms on his computer and can show me a graph of how I am progressing. It's interesting to note that my scores have been falling as the counselling has progressed (this is a good thing), having dropped from high risk to average or slightly below, meaning I theoretically don't require therapy now. I'd disagree, though.
My scores have fallen, but I've been off work for the last three months, so it's natural that my anxiety levels have fallen, since the primary source of my distress has been removed. I am concerned what happens if and when I return to work. That thought in itself causes me anxiety, though I at least know now that what I am doing is 'predicting' and painting the worst-case scenario for myself.
The psychiatrist I saw recently. the doctor from occupational health and my own GP all feel there is a glimmer of hope of me returning to work now, but that it is dependent on my employers making appropriate 'reasonable adjustments'. It's now confirmed that my situation is covered under the Disability Discrimination Act, which means I have a few more rights than otherwise. The phrase 'watch this space' springs to mind.
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