I am very aware that Christmas brings with it a high rate of suicides. Please, if you are down over the holidays, don't choose this option. No matter what you are feeling right now, you are an important part of the universe and very much needed here.
I have Seasonally Affected Disorder, OCD Hoarding, Depression and Anxiety issues. I know how horrendously down this time of year can get people because I've been there myself. The black dog loves to come nipping at my heals at this time of the year, and I did ring the Samaritans on Boxing Day once.
Samaritans
In the UK dial 08457 90 90 90. In the Republic of Ireland dial 1850 60 90 90.
Or visit the Samaritans website for more info
If you are not in Britain, the Befrienders website tells of help available worldwide.
I especially want to tell those who are low because of gender issues that you are very loved, no matter what you have heard or what treatment you have received from bigots or from those in your family who cannot see you for the beautiful person you really are. You deserve to live and to have the chance to find love and acceptance. Please don't take away that right from yourself.
If you are in Manchester you can start your search for help at the LGF in Manchester.
If you are LGBT and in need of help and are in London try here: 020 7837 7324 (daily 10am -11pm)
If you are in Wales the LGBT Cymru Helpline is 0800 840 28069
Or try here at the Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association.
Stay safe and cling to hope. If you're alive something can always be done. Blessed Be.
Saturday, 18 December 2010
Friday, 10 December 2010
Equality, Human Right and Other B*ll*cks
I've been long-term ill. I am covered by DDA legislation. I've returned to work, and now I am being told by my employers that I am not fit to work full-time.
I went to discuss this with a Job Centre Plus Disability Advisor. She, bless her, did everything humanly possible to try and help me. I strongly recommend taking this step if your circumstances make it relevant.
I was trying to discover how I might cope with a significant and immediate drop in pay. Unfortunately, because I went back on a phased return I have lost the opportunity of claiming Working Tax Credits (8 weeks time limit on this). I might be able to claim some form of help with my mortgage, dependent on my eventual circumstances, but this would only cover (part?) of mortgage interest and my lender refuses to move me onto an interest only mortgage. (I am fighting this situation, with advice from Shelter and the Citizen's Advice Bureau).
I will earn too much if I go down to even two days part-time to make ESA an option.
If ESA were an option I'd need to attend a medical assessment. The medical assessors for ESA have recently been criticised for their poor handling of clients with mental health issues.
My employers, in their rush to 'look after me', feeling my health has deteriorated since I went back to full time working, have actually brought about a crisis thanks to the stress entailed in fearing I may soon find my home repossessed because I can't earn a full enough wage to meet my mortgage payments.
They should actually have acknowledged that I am one of the people best placed to judge my own state of health and should have listened when I originally told them I needed a longer phased return that they were offering. Too, I should have pressed that issue. My advice to others? Press that particular matter, but be aware of the 8 weeks limit on claiming Working Tax Credits if something does go wrong with your return to work. Hopefully with an adequate period of phased return you'll do okay.
I've also been advised to ring the Welfare Rights Benefit Hotline on 0800 074 9985 to discuss appealing their decision not to award me Disability Living Allowance. Apparently I was too... erm... well, apparently I made too small an issue of my real support needs when I first applied... Erm, guys...Low Self-Esteem --> Minimising your problems and considering yourself less worthy or deserving or entitled to help than others...Wake up and smell the bullsh*t
Good luck if you find yourself in a similar position, I hope it works out well for you. You have my empathic best wishes.
If anyone has experience of a similar position and wants to give any pointers, feel free to leave a comment.
.
.
I went to discuss this with a Job Centre Plus Disability Advisor. She, bless her, did everything humanly possible to try and help me. I strongly recommend taking this step if your circumstances make it relevant.
I was trying to discover how I might cope with a significant and immediate drop in pay. Unfortunately, because I went back on a phased return I have lost the opportunity of claiming Working Tax Credits (8 weeks time limit on this). I might be able to claim some form of help with my mortgage, dependent on my eventual circumstances, but this would only cover (part?) of mortgage interest and my lender refuses to move me onto an interest only mortgage. (I am fighting this situation, with advice from Shelter and the Citizen's Advice Bureau).
I will earn too much if I go down to even two days part-time to make ESA an option.
If ESA were an option I'd need to attend a medical assessment. The medical assessors for ESA have recently been criticised for their poor handling of clients with mental health issues.
My employers, in their rush to 'look after me', feeling my health has deteriorated since I went back to full time working, have actually brought about a crisis thanks to the stress entailed in fearing I may soon find my home repossessed because I can't earn a full enough wage to meet my mortgage payments.
They should actually have acknowledged that I am one of the people best placed to judge my own state of health and should have listened when I originally told them I needed a longer phased return that they were offering. Too, I should have pressed that issue. My advice to others? Press that particular matter, but be aware of the 8 weeks limit on claiming Working Tax Credits if something does go wrong with your return to work. Hopefully with an adequate period of phased return you'll do okay.
I've also been advised to ring the Welfare Rights Benefit Hotline on 0800 074 9985 to discuss appealing their decision not to award me Disability Living Allowance. Apparently I was too... erm... well, apparently I made too small an issue of my real support needs when I first applied... Erm, guys...Low Self-Esteem --> Minimising your problems and considering yourself less worthy or deserving or entitled to help than others...Wake up and smell the bullsh*t
Good luck if you find yourself in a similar position, I hope it works out well for you. You have my empathic best wishes.
If anyone has experience of a similar position and wants to give any pointers, feel free to leave a comment.
.
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Thursday, 2 December 2010
Set Back
I thought I was making a good recovery. Then I discovered the anxiety attack.
My new boss sent me home today because me becoming upset had upset my colleagues and she feels I am not well enough yet to be back at work. My anxiety has been building since it snowed. As my boss correctly pointed out, last year we had bad weather but it did not provoke such a level of anxiety in me.
How I resolve this one, I don't know. I want to work, I was enjoying working, and I need to work. Yes, I am more emotional than usual. Yes I am less hardy than I maybe need to be, as yet. But like bereavement, I feel this situation can only be healed by time and by getting on with my life as best I am able meantime.
I was projecting this morning. I'm still projecting and awfulising. I am trying really hard to handle it though. Wish me luck.
My new boss sent me home today because me becoming upset had upset my colleagues and she feels I am not well enough yet to be back at work. My anxiety has been building since it snowed. As my boss correctly pointed out, last year we had bad weather but it did not provoke such a level of anxiety in me.
How I resolve this one, I don't know. I want to work, I was enjoying working, and I need to work. Yes, I am more emotional than usual. Yes I am less hardy than I maybe need to be, as yet. But like bereavement, I feel this situation can only be healed by time and by getting on with my life as best I am able meantime.
I was projecting this morning. I'm still projecting and awfulising. I am trying really hard to handle it though. Wish me luck.
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