This personification came to mind whilst I was working with someone on a story. I have become an aspiring authoress lately, you see, and we were online together when it occurred to me that my co-writer probably had an idea of me in her mind which was far removed from my truth.
I pictured her, picturing me as a 'lady of a certain age', British (with all the kitsch that implies to foreigners), probably married, with either cats or kids.
In response to my identifying myself as 'A psycho tip-dweller with no visible future', one of my most 'significant others' just told me: "You have a future, walking alongside me". Thank gods for her presence in my life! I honestly might not have a life without her.
Low self-esteem is a killer, not just literally but psychologically as well. You can become so lost to yourself that only the way others see you registers, and if that is off-tune or too cruel you can go so low as to not want yourself any longer. No-one wants you, and you don't want yourself, so what's the point ? I suspect that could be one of the reasons 'genuine' suicides don't leave notes... they figure there is no-one interested enough in them to need to know why they did it.
Oddly enough, I have a desire to be there for people who have hit that line. I honestly believe every person has a worth and deserves to be able to give their love to someone and be loved in return. All I have to do now is be sure enough of my policy to always include myself in it.
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